How To Teach Your Cat About Gun Safety

How to Talk to Your Cat about Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives

The cats of the United States are under attack! The days when the only things a cat had to worry about were mean dogs and getting a wash are long gone. Satanists, cyber predators, the risk of having to survive in a post-apocalyptic environment, and a plethora of other hazards to their nine lives must be dealt with by modern cats. Our nation’s cat owners have feared having difficult talks with their pets for more than four decades, and the American Association of Patriots has been in the forefront of our country’s defense by assisting them in preparing for such conversations.

What about letting him just play with yarn as cats used to?” Our country, as well as our pets, are on the verge of a cliff.

How To Talk To Your Cat About Gun Safety

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We would much appreciate it if you could assist us. Please tell us what you think about this preview of How To Talk To Your Cat About Gun Safety by Zachary Auburn. We will fix it as soon as possible. Please accept our sincere thanks for informing us about the situation. Let us know if you have any questions or comments regarding How to Talk To Your Cat About Gun Safety. · 38 reviews 144 ratings 144 ratings Begin your examination of How To Talk To Your Cat About Gun Safety. Gun safety is not something to take lightly.

  1. Pets need to be informed of the hazards they face in today’s environment, and this is a clear and unequivocal requirement.
  2. Both portions are highly recommended!
  3. This book covers the difficult themes associated with teaching your kitty companion.
  4. Educate your cats about firearms in the appropriate manner before they learn the incorrect manner.
  5. .more The 7th of May, 2016 It was naimarated since it did not like it.
  6. We were under the impression it would be parody, but it turned out to be vicious propaganda that utilized the name “Jew” as a disparaging slur.
  7. Was expecting parody, but it turned out to be ugly propaganda that utilized the name “Jew” as a disparaging slur.
  8. It was given a high rating since it was very loved.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA This book distinguishes between persons who have a sense of humour and those who only believe they do!

  1. This is excellent information.
  2. 03rd of January, 2019 It was graded on a scale of 1 to 10.
  3. Each chapter, which is a satirical pamphlet attacking some aspect of right-wing politics and/or religion, is divided into a number of chapters.
  4. It never really progresses beyond a one-note parody of conservatism and Christianity, and, honestly, as amusing as the premise appears to be on the surface, I never actually laughed out loud while reading it.
  5. Each chapter, which is a satirical pamphlet attacking some aspect of right-wing politics and/or religion, is divided into a number of chapters.
  6. It never really progresses beyond a one-note parody of conservatism and Christianity, and, honestly, as amusing as the premise appears to be on the surface, I never actually laughed out loud while reading it.
  7. Perhaps this is due to the fact that this type of item works best in little doses.

Even the funny cat stuff, such as converting words like “monster” to “mewnster,” comes across as a clumsy ruse.

Aug 20, 2019It was re-affirmed that everything was OK.

Every one of them is a distinct variation on the same topic.

GET IT?” in your ear again and over.

Choose a chapter, any chapter, and read it.

One part is amusing, but the rest of the book reads like that buddy of yours who recounts the same “funny” tale over and over again whenever they are drunk while pounding your shoulder brutally and yelling, “GET IT?

And you’ve been appointed as the designated driver…

This was quite amusing, in my opinion!

Snarky remarks were made about me when I was a youngster.

Dec 17, 2018Amy gave it a 5-star rating because it was outstanding.

23rd of April, 2021 Jennarated it as “excellent.” The writers should have added a chapter titled “How to Talk to Your Cat About Satire,” as seen by some of the evaluations that have been posted online.

Okay, so I got this book as a gift for a friend for Christmas, but I ended up reading it for myself and couldn’t put it down.

Hilarious.

Are you folks completely out of your wits for only giving this stuff 3.5/5 stars?

This book is just incredible.

It’s 6 stars instead of 3.5.

And no, it isn’t because it is short that it is.

Because you’ve done so, I’m not sure I can put my faith in another excellent reads review in the future.

I mean, I’m the liberal who is attempting to destabilize our democracy (as so brilliantly demonstrated throughout the book), yet I still like this book.

Seriously, though, this book is unlike anything else I’ve read in a long time, and I highly recommend it.

Despite the fact that he uses cat jokes, I really enjoy the way he writes.

It’s not like this book contains information that we were never taught in Lib 101.

We’re in big trouble.

5 stars for interesting reading material.

Your reviews are no longer relevant to me.

They’ve returned.

I’m assuming they have nine lives as well…

or anyone with the mental capacity of a baby, which includes a large number of voters who are illiterate.

The 8th of January, 2020 Shannen gave it a high rating and said she enjoyed it.

Despite the fact that it has received some negative feedback, it is clearly violent satire (and well done too).

This book is completely and utterly amusing.

I read it aloud to my kitties, who appeared to appreciate it…

The title of the book had a lot of promise to be a humorous book, and it turned out to be.

It was not amusing, but rather irritating since it was Christian propaganda.

And to refer to Planned Parenthood as a “abortion holocaust”?

We get it, author(s), you’re pro-life and don’t want to acknowledge the other services provided by Planned Parenthood that benefit the public.

However, I was unable to complete this book.

Religion is OK with me, but please don’t force your religious beliefs down people’s throats and create a book about your religious beliefs as well as your religious beliefs.

Seriously?!

Replace the cat with a human, and you’ve got yourself a Christian guide to dealing with life’s most difficult problems.

read more 1st of June, 2020 It received a negative rating from James.

I’m confident that it was purchased because it was a charming and humorous book about cats.

It serves as a platform for viewpoints that encourage division, bigotry, and the preservation of privilege.

I despise the fact that truth has lost its significance and that manipulation and deception are being utilized to achieve an edge.

I’m confident that it was purchased because it was a charming and humorous book about cats.

It serves as a platform for viewpoints that encourage division, bigotry, and the preservation of privilege.

I despise the fact that truth has lost its significance and that manipulation and deception are being utilized to get an edge…

On Amazon, this item was recommended as a “white elephant” gift.

Considering the times we live in, I’m not sure how well this book would be received in that environment, particularly in the workplace (where the white elephant exchange is occurring) 17th of November, 2019 Melissa gave it a positive rating Okay, so even though this is just about 5 pages long and the entire thing is ridiculous, I’m still not comfortable with jabs at antisemitism and immigration.

  • Although it has an irritating right wing tilt, it’s not clear whether they’re serious about that portion of the message or not.
  • Cute and amusing, though a touch excessive, in my opinion.
  • Can one still call anything satirical if one simply takes propaganda and replaces the term “kid” with the word “cat”?
  • I had hoped for something more impressive.
  • That’s a shame.
  • Can one still call anything satirical if one simply takes propaganda and replaces the term “kid” with the word “cat”?
  • I had hoped for something more impressive.
See also:  How To Comfort A Sick Cat

That’s a shame.

I expected this to be a lighthearted, funny novel that would make light of society’s ills, but the “lightheartedness” went a little too far in some of the stereotyped representations and offensive phrases.

I expected this to be a lighthearted, funny novel that would make light of society’s ills, but the “lightheartedness” went a little too far in some of the stereotyped representations and offensive phrases.

It can be entertaining at times, but it can be tedious to read through since it becomes stale.

It might be entertaining at times, but it can also be tedious to read through since it becomes stale…

Perfect for a cat owner who enjoys firearms!

But it was amusing, and I enjoyed the photographs!

Also, what the hell is going on?

Laugh out loud funny, though a little monotonous.

The chapter on Post-Apocalyptic Survival was a little too grim for my tastes.

I couldn’t help but chuckle out loud.

What did I expect?

It’s pawsomely punny in the best possible manner.

It was a complete and utter disaster in my opinion.

What did I expect?

It’s pawsomely punny in the best possible manner.

It was a complete and utter disaster in my opinion.

The date is May 26, 2021.

The chapter on abstinence or the chapter on internet safety were my favorites, but I couldn’t decide which one I preferred more.

This was a nice novel, with some really amusing passages.

16th of June, 2016 It was bunnyrated and deemed satisfactory.

I was expecting a sense of humour.

This, on the other hand, isn’t amusing.

However, the situation was not handled effectively.

I received this book from Netgalley in return for an honest review.

Because, after all, why wouldn’t you?

My rating of two stars is due to the fact that the cat illustrations are wonderful (can we talk about Planned Purrenthood for a minute?).

I enjoy satire, and I’m sorry that this didn’t hold up to scrutiny.

read more Not normal, not new normal, not super-spreading, and not socially connected. Yes, it has been a number of years since COVID and pandemic-related headlines have dominated the news. Thank you for returning. For the moment, please wait while we sign you in to YourGoodreading Account.

How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety by Zachary Auburn: 9780451494924

The cats of the United States are under attack! The days when the only things a cat had to worry about were mean dogs and getting a wash are long gone. Satanists, cyber predators, the risk of having to survive in a post-apocalyptic environment, and a plethora of other hazards to their nine lives must be dealt with by modern cats. Our nation’s cat owners have feared having difficult talks with their pets for more than four decades, and the American Association of Patriots has been in the forefront of our country’s defense by assisting them in preparing for such conversations.

What about letting him just play with yarn as cats used to?” Our country, as well as our pets, are on the verge of a cliff.

AboutHow to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety

There is a siege on the cats of America! Cats’ top concerns used to be nasty dogs or getting a wash. Those days are long gone. Satanists, cyber predators, the risk of having to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and a plethora of other hazards to their nine lives must be dealt with by modern-day felines. Our nation’s cat owners have feared having difficult talks with their pets for more than four decades, and the American Association of Patriots has been in the forefront of our nation’s defense by assisting them in preparing for such conversations.

What about letting him play with yarn like cats used to?” A precipice looms over our country, as well as our kitties.

AboutHow to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety

The cats of the United States are under assault! The days when a cat’s primary concerns were nasty dogs or getting a wash are long gone. Satanists, cyber predators, the potential of having to survive in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and a plethora of other hazards to their nine lives are all present in modern cats’ world. The American Association of Patriots has been in the forefront of our country’s defense for more than four decades, assisting cat owners around the country in preparing for the difficult discussions they fear having with their cats.

Our country, as well as our cats, is on the verge of a cliff. It will take bravery and dedication, but armed with the wisdom contained within these pages, we can restore greatness to our cats—and to America!

How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety

The First Chapter: HOW TO INFORM YOUR CAT ABOUT GUN SAFETYDoes it make sense for me to talk to my cat about gun safety? Many of you will be asking yourselves, “Do I really need to educate my cat about gun safety?” The first thing many of you will be asking yourself is, “Do I really need to teach my cat about gun safety?” The answer is a resounding “Yes!” without hesitation. The freedom to possess and use weapons is guaranteed to us by the Constitution of the United States of America, and it is a right that we must exercise in order to keep our country healthy and prevent our democracy from deteriorating further.

  1. Those who are unable to securely handle a firearm are just as irresponsible and ineffective as citizens who do not own a firearm at all.
  2. For the sake of our country’s long-term security, it is impermissible that every man, woman, kid, and animal be capable of defending our country against those who would undermine our democratic institutions.
  3. Yes!
  4. Even a simple search on the Internet will find up hundreds of images showing cats interacting with firearms, nearly all of which are handled in a very dangerous manner.
  5. The fact that my cat has discovered a pistol isn’t a huge problem.
  6. Cats are naturally curious creatures, there’s no denying it.
  7. A firearm should be kept in your home at all times, and it is only a matter of time before your cat discovers it (which you should do).
  8. Alternatively, your cat, with whom you have already discussed how a handgun is a tool and not a play, and who has gotten considerable training in the right use of the weapon, discovers your rifle and treats it with the respect it deserves?
  9. In my home, do I have any cats, and can I safely keep a gun?
  10. A gun is simply a tool, and that is all it is.

It is only as a result of liberal, Jew-controlled media propaganda and scare tactics that Americans are beginning to question the wisdom of keeping firearms in their homes—scare tactics that undoubtedly serve their larger agenda of overthrowing the legitimate leadership of the United States and imposing a one-world government based in Europe on the American people.

  1. As a bonus, cats from gun-free homes are more likely than cats from gun-owning households to be inquisitive about weapons they come across, but cats from gun-owning households are less likely to be curious about guns they come across.
  2. When it comes to my gun, I’m responsible, so why should I bother to teach my cat about gun safety?
  3. They are kept in a gun safe that is only accessible to you since you have the key.
  4. It’s safe to assume that with all of these safeguards, you won’t have to talk about proper firearm usage with your cat, right?
  5. Completely incorrect!
  6. Do you truly know what your cat gets up to when you’re not there to supervise them?
  7. What happens to them?
See also:  How To Nuter A Cat

However, while 40 percent of American families are wise enough to possess at least one handgun, not all of them are responsible in the same way that you are.

Even worse, many of these unprotected firearms are housed in cardboard boxes, which are an appealing container for most cats to explore.

Advice from our experts: All of the firearms in the world won’t do your cat any good if he doesn’t have the ammunition to go with them.

Was there a specific age when I should start talking to my cat about gun safety?

However, you should realistically hold off on doing so until at least a week following birth, when cats begin to open their eyes.

Families who believed that their kitten was too young to play with weapons, and that they could wait till the kitten was a little bit older to train them on appropriate firearm usage and safety, have been found dead in their obituary.

If anything, the fact that your kitten is still a child gives you even more motivation to educate them about weapons.

What are the dangers of not talking to my cat about gun safety when she is around?

Consider the following scenario: your cat is sitting by a window, staring at a bird in a neighboring tree.

This is all cats want, and if your cat has not been taught to appreciate the might of a handgun, they may attempt to use your gun to accomplish their goal instead.

However, until your cat has had the opportunity to practice in a controlled environment at a reputable and licensed firing range, you cannot presume that they possess the essential abilities to handle the gun safely.

This is not one of those abilities.

This is the most prevalent hazard that you subject your family to when you neglect to talk to your cat about gun safety, but it is by no means the only one.

Today, have a conversation with your cat!

Certainly not, but your cat should have access to all of the weapons that our Founding Fathers lost their lives to provide us with, whether it’s a basic Beretta 9mm or an AK-47 with full automatic capabilities.

Furthermore, because cats are color blind, it is recommended that you mark the vest in some way so that your cat can distinguish it from any other non-orange vests of a similar cut that they may already own in their collection.

How do I know I can put my faith in them?

Just as it is said, American cats are first and foremost Americans, with cats coming in second.

I have no question about that.

If you think that their blood would be any less crimson than that of a human American patriot, you’re delusional.

There are about one hundred million cats living in American households, with an unfathomable number of millions more loosely organized into feral militias, according to the Humane Society.

Do you believe that our enemies tremble in terror?

Bush, have recognized, and it is something that we, as watchful Americans, must never lose sight of.

We do this because it is the responsibility of every American citizen, human and feline alike, to exercise the liberties conferred upon us by the United States Constitution.

If you don’t teach your cat how to use weapons, you’re betraying all that George Washington and the other Founding Fathers believed in.

While prohibiting the use of any firearm would be a violation of your cat’s Second Amendment rights, there are some sorts of firearms that may be more appropriate for cats than others.

In contrast to a lightweight 9mm, few cats, with the exception of possibly a Maine Coon or a Norwegian Forest Cat, will have the size and power required to properly fire a Desert Eagle or a Barrett 82A1, at least not without substantial training and preparation.

Is it even allowed for my cat to own a gun in the first place?

Americans can’t be trusted to wipe their own bottoms, let alone possess weapons, according to leftist nanny-state activists who demand onerous background checks and permissions that make it technically impossible for even the most feline of felines to register a handgun.

We won’t know for definite until some courageous purrtriot has the guts to purchase a gun, register it, be arrested, and then appeal the case all the way to the Supreme Court; nonetheless, we are certain that our cats will one day be able to proudly own and bear arms—legally—sometime in the near future.

  • So, what do you do now?
  • The fact that your cat is playing with a piece of string may be amusing, but this is a serious topic, and it is critical that you have his or her complete attention during this time.
  • If you have more than two cats, or if you have been involved in an accident in which you have lost the use of one or more arms, enlist the assistance of a partner or friend to participate in the conversation and to pet any cats that are in excess of the number of functioning arms you have.
  • When it comes to communicating with your cat, there is no one exact script to follow.
  • When your paw comes into contact with the trigger, you should be prepared to discharge the gun.
  • ê Keep in mind that firearms are not the same as balls of yarn.
  • Maintain a firm hold on your firearm at all times.

When it comes to gun safety, it’s easy to overlook the importance of learning how to use your handgun against your adversary in a proper manner.

Here are some guidelines for dealing with some of the most often observed risks to our four-legged pals.

Instruct your cat to fire a warning shot if they come face to face with an angry or dangerous dog.

Always remember that while firing a warning shot, you should aim towards the ground rather than the air!

Instead, please refer to our booklet “How to Talk to Your Dog About Gun Safety” for more information.

In many circumstances, simply maiming the invader will be sufficient punishment.

Zachary Auburn has copyright protection for the year 2016. All intellectual property rights are retained. The publisher has granted permission for this excerpt to be copied or republished in its entirety without written permission from the author.

‘How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety’ Is a Clever Satire Cat Lovers Will Enjoy

Every page of The American Association of Patriots’s satirical novel “How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety and Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers that Threaten Their Nine Lives” will bring forth guffaws and giggles from readers who will enjoy the wit and witticisms of the author. The first chapter on Gun Safety, as well as the solution to the question: “When is the optimum age to begin talking to my cat about gun safety?” are examples of this. To be blunt, there is no age that is too early to begin educating your cat to the rewards and duties of gun ownership.

  1. When your cat is a kitten, it is at its most lively and precocious, and there is no other time in its life when this is true.
  2. Drugs, internet safety, puberty, post-apocalyptic survival, and satanism are among the topics covered in other major chapters.
  3. Please keep in mind that this review is based on a final, paperback copy of the book supplied by the publisher, Three Rivers Press, for the purpose of this review.
  4. She lives with four cats, four dogs, one bird, two frogs, and one foster animal on a regular basis (and very understanding husband).
  5. Animals that used to be kept as pets include rabbits, rats, and a variety of other critters.
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How to Talk to Your Cat about Gun Safety : And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives by Zachary Auburn (2016, Trade Paperback) for sale online

4.6 stars out of 5 for this product 14 customers have given this product a positive review. 4.6 out of 5 stars based on 14 customer reviews

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Based on 14 customer reviews, this product is rated 4.64.6 out of 5 stars. 14 customers have given this product a positive review.

  • 12 people gave this a 5 out of 5 star rating
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A Very Entertaining Book!

  • It took a little longer than expected to receive my book due to stock damage, and the one I did receive had a small nick in the bottom of the cover, but it’s scarcely apparent, and the substance of the book is so fascinating that it was well worth the wait. Yes, the purchase was verified|The condition was new
  • The rating was 5 out of 5. sbyjj5229 4th of December, 2019

Loved The Book

  • As a result of stock damage, my book was a little late in arriving, and the one that did arrive had a little nick at the bottom of the cover. However, because the substance of the book is so interesting, it was well worth the delay. Yes|Condition:New
  • 5 out of 5 stars after verification sbyjj5229 04.12.2019 (Thursday)

Hilarious!

  • A sharp-witted and stinging satire, to be sure. The majority of people will miss the joke, but the rest of us will find it rather amusing. Purchase was verified: Yes|Condition: Brand new

Best Book Ever!

  • If you have both cats and weapons in your house, this is a fantastic resource to keep on hand. No|Condition:New
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Great gift for a cat lover.

  • I gave it to someone as a Christmas present, and they loved it! Purchase was verified: Yes|Condition: Brand new

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How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety

  • Most popular books currently on the market are shown in the current slide show
  • It might be difficult to conduct a sensible discussion with someone who holds strong convictions about something. So why not give it a shot with a lovely and dumb kitten in the process? How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety is written in an easy-to-digest question and answer style. helps to answer important questions such as “What is the appropriate age to talk to my cat about the safe use of firearms?” “Who are the adversaries who aim to undermine my cat’s belief in creationism?” and “What are the advantages of my cat leading an abstinence-based lifestyle?” You can restore greatness to your cat – and to America – if you arm yourself with the wisdom contained within these pages. The following are the characteristics of the product:
  • Your comprehensive reference to life’s most important subjects, including guns, evolution, drugs, the internet, and other topics
  • Written in a straightforward Q A style to poke fun at narrow-minded religious beliefs
  • 144 pages are included.

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How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives by Zachary Auburn – Audiobooks on Google Play

The author Craig Ferguson, in American on Purpose, manages to stay away from the temptations of self-indulgence and self-importance that beset most (if not all) Hollywood memoirs. Instead, he has produced a book that is both amusing and irresistibly stupid, but it is also compassionate, sensitive, and obviously insightful at the same time. “It was a pleasure to read.” According to the New York Times’ Dennis Lehane Author of the New York Times bestselling novel The Given Day When Ferguson takes us on a trip from the mean streets of Glasgow, Scotland, to the hilarious promised land of Hollywood, he provides a touching and achingly humorous account of living the American dream.

Ferguson turned to drugs and alcohol to mask the anguish of failure, and his addictions finally led to a failed suicide attempt that was averted.

Ferguson’s most significant accomplishment was his choice to become a citizen of the United States, which he accomplished in early 2008. Throughout American on Purpose, Craig Ferguson expresses his displeasure with everything our Founding Fathers dreaded in red, white, and blue.

How to Talk to Your Cat About Gun Safety: And Abstinence, Drugs, Satanism, and Other Dangers That Threaten Their Nine Lives by Zachary Auburn • Epilogue Books Chocolate Brews

The author Craig Ferguson, in American on Purpose, manages to stay away from the traps of self-indulgence and self-importance that beset the majority (if not all) of Hollywood memoirs.” But instead of writing an amusing and irresistibly silly book, he has created a book that is both compassionate and tragic while also being unquestionably clever. “It was a pleasure to take in the writing.” According to the New York Times’ Dennis Lehane: Author of the New York Times best-seller The Given Day While traveling from the gritty streets of Glasgow, Scotland, to the hilarious promised land of Hollywood, Ferguson provides a touching and painfully humorous tale of living the American dream.

Ferguson turned to drugs and alcohol to mask the anguish of failure, and his addictions finally led to a failed suicide attempt that was prevented.

A happy ending, however, comes in the form of success on the successful comedy The Drew Carey Show and subsequently as host of CBS’s Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson.

With a patriotic zeal, author Craig Ferguson discusses everything our founding fathers were afraid of in his book American on Purpose.

Description

The cats of America are under assault, and they are facing perils that are unlike anything we have ever seen before. The days when the only things a cat had to worry about were mean dogs and getting a wash are long gone. Modern-day felines must deal with a variety of risks to their nine lives, including liberals, international bankers, Satanists, cybercriminals, and a host of other dangers. Until today, there has never been a single book that could assist you in preparing your cat for the dangers of the contemporary world…

Written in a straightforward Q A format, it provides answers to such often asked questions as “When is the appropriate age to talk to my cat about gun safety?” and “What are the advantages of my cat leading an abstinence-based lifestyle?” Abstinence, evolution, internet safety, post-apocalyptic survival, puberty, and satanism are among the topics covered in the book.

Cat lovers, political junkies with a sense of humor, and everyone who enjoys a good chuckle will enjoy this funny public service announcement.

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